Momma's boys
by PadyandMoony
Summary: Chris doesn't come back alone from the future in Chris-Crossed. How will Piper deal with her boys? Funny one-shot.


Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed.

"Momma's boys"

As Piper finished putting the rug on top of the loose floorboard a triquetra glowed on the wall and Chris came tumbling off it, which they were expecting. What they weren't expecting was the blond man dressed in dark who had obviously grabbed Chris's legs as he was jumping and came with him. They didn't have much time to react as the blond man jumped on Chris as soon as they landed, Chris acted fast as with a telekinetic shove he sent the man sprawling down the attic and Paige reacted even faster with a call of:

"Crystals" she had the blond man trapped in a crystal cage. The man just got up and, with what Piper could only describe as a cheeky snort ,he said raising an eyebrow:

"Is this really necessary?"

"Uh, yeah," Paige told him as if he was crazy.

"You weren't supposed to bring a friend," Leo said as he helped Chris up. Piper noticed the bruise that was forming on Chris's throat, he had obviously been strangled.

"Wasn't planning on it."

"Okay, who's the demon, is he on the book?"

"Aw, Aunt Paige, that really hurts, deep deep down," Wyatt said in a mock hurt voice and a pout pointing at his heat with his thumb and Chris wanted to groan. God, he couldn't believe it! His big brother had just killed his fiancé, tried to kill him and to top it off he was about to blurt two of his best well kept secrets! Couldn't he get a break here?

"SHUT UP!" he yelled.

"No, that can't-"Piper said faintly.

"Aw mom, I'm hurt, you always said you'd recognize your boys anywhere and anytime, was that a lie? Or is it just me? Always knew Chris was your favorite? Your little peanut," he made a mocking voice.

"You're not Wyatt," Leo stated angrily, "Wyatt wouldn't be so, so- this is a trick, you're tricking us!" he turned angrily at Chris stalking menacingly.

"Okay, I can explain," Chris stuttered backing away and Wyatt frowned at his brother's reaction.

"No! You can't! We'll just vanquish you both-" Leo started yelling but was cut off:

"HEY!" Wyatt shouted angrily and the crystal cage exploded as he pushed it out with his shield. He orbed in front of Chris and raised the shield in front of them. "No one touches my little brother!"

"You were trying to kill him yourself," Phoebe pointed out as if he was crazy while Piper stuttered:

"Brother."

"No I wasn't. I was teaching him a lesson. Trying to fix the mess _you_ made in his head," Wyatt said in a condescending tone.

"Excuse me, my head is not messed up!" Chris cried outraged

"Yes it is," Wyatt said tiredly. "If they hadn't messed up your head with these stupid good and evil morals than you wouldn't be confused-"

"You're the one who is messed up! You're killing innocents for crying out loud!" Chris cried.

"What do you expect me to do?" Wyatt yelled back turning to his brother and completely ignoring the others in the room. "Sacrifice my life to save them? They would have been the first to turn on us! We gotta show them who is the most powerful! That's how it's done!"

"M God! Do you hear yourself?"

A loud whistle interrupted the brothers' yelling, "So sorry to interrupt what must be a riveting discussion," Piper said drily with a no-nonsense tone that had both the Leader of the Resistance and the Ruler of all Evil lowering their heads in proper admonishment. She was mom after all. "Now, first things first. Apologize to each other."

"What?"

"You can't be serious," both Wyatt and Chris started spluttering and Piper said again in a firm tone.

"Apologize!"

Both men bowed their heads again and Chris caved first, "I'm sorry I yelled."

"Mama's boy," Wyatt muttered but with a well placed "WYATT!" from Piper he continued, "I'm sorry I strangled you, and threw you around, and killed your fiancée- but that was an accident," he tried pointing out as Phoebe and Paige gasped and Chris turned his head away from his brother sharply, 'I'll get you a new one," he offered in a hopeful tone.

"She wasn't a puppy Wyatt!" Chris cried outraged.

"I'm sorry, okay, was an accident, you know, Mom wouldn't approve of her anyway-"

"That's not the point! God! How did you get so crazy?"

"I am not-"

"Enough the both of you!" Piper said firmly. "Now hug."

Chris and Wyatt looked at her as if she was crazy and she just made a motion with her hands for them to get closer and hug. Rolling their eyes the two brothers gave each other the quickest hug in history.

"Okay," Piper said satisfied, "Now Wyatt lower your shield, that is not really necessary."

Wyatt glared at Leo but lowered his shield nonetheless.

"Now, Wyatt go back home and don't come back. Mommy loves you," she finished kissing him on the cheek and Wyatt looked superiorly at Chris.

"Here that Chris, now we go back home and you rule my empire by my side."

"If I go back home I'm going back to leading the Resistance."

"No you-"

The loud whistle was heard again.

"I said Wyatt goes back and Chris stays to save Wyatt."

"What?" Wyatt spluttered.

"Ha!" Chris said crossing his arms and gloating. He stopped it with a pointed glare from Piper.

"I don't need saving."

"Yes you do, from whatever turned you," Chris said as if he had said it a hundred times.

"No one turned me because there is no such thing as good and evil, only power and those to afraid to use it," Wyatt answered back in the same tone.

"Then Chris staying shouldn't be a problem," Paige argued.  
"Excuse me?" Wyatt said but catching on Chris continued.

"She's right, if no one turned you and you're just like that, then I won't change anything. I have a deadline anyway. I know whatever happens, happens before I'm born, so if I'm born and I found nothing I'll go back and be a good little brother if not, well then you won't mind 'cause you ain't gonna remember."

"That's absurd," Wyatt said.

"No, it's not," Piper pointed out. "And you're doing it," she ordered.

Wyatt looked mutinous but nodded, he grumbled until he reached the wall and all while drawing the triquetra. He looked back at Chris and his mother and went back quickly giving both of them fierce hugs. Wisely, neither said anything. He chanted the spell and walked through it.

As the triquetra faded Paige asked, "What exactly does a good little brother do?"

"Saves his older brother even from himself," Chris said with a straight face.

"You sly dog," Paige said approvingly.

"Okay, er, gotta go, mission to accomplish-"

"Don't you dare mister. You are grounded!" Piper said.

"You can't- I'm twenty-one."

"Watch me, there's a whole kitchen downstairs to be cleaned, that ought to teach you to lie to your mother!"

"I will not-"

"Christopher!"

"Humph, fine," he said and started walking out of the attic mumbling. Piper stopped him and hugged him.

"Mommy loves you."

He hugged her back and when she released him he went away without mumbling.

"Ah, what?" Leo said still shocked.

The Charmed Ones paid him no heed.

"Can you believe those two are actually leaders, talk about momma boys," Phoebe snorted and Piper walked away satisfied.

The End

A/N- I know, I know! Completely outrageous and made no sense at all. But I couldn't stop laughing when I pictured the scene. Just had to share. Hope you had fun! Thanks for reading!


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